Introducing
This page is a showcase of the process I made writing the article "Gender Roles in Iron Man Series Reflects Gender Value Improvement" From Planning and Exploratory Writing to Final Revision, the whole process is meaningful and thoughtful in our course. This process helps me a lot so i want to share it with you.
Planning and Exploratory Writing
Annotation
Before we start to plan the whole article, we first need to do some research on the sources. Here is my first annotation on Jean Kilbourne’s lecture, Killing Us Softly 4. It gives me a glimpse of how should my research starts. And explain why public media like Disney movies are important in structuring our society.
Exploratory Writing
In exploratory writing, we summarize the movie and find the plots or detail that could reflect gender values. After we studied our sources, we highlight the point related to the gender value and collect the evidence that could support our argument for our passage.
Peer Review
Best Advice I Gave
I believe this is the best advice I gave because I got a response from the receiver. In the advice, I followed the peer review instruction including evaluation, additional ideas, one word/phrase to revise, question, and connection. I believe they are all very helpful.
Best Advice I Received
I believe this is the best advice I received because she points out my insufficient and encourages my strengths into detail. Also, she provides her solution after every problem she points out. This makes me clearly understand my problem and give me a hint to revise.
Self-Review
In the self-review section Analyze Organization, I found that some paragraphs are unnecessary and could be merged with other paragraphs. This could make my structure clearer and organized. In my annotation, I marked that a paragraph can be merged to the next.
In the self-review section Analyze Thesis for Focus, I found many of my sentences and paragraphs are ambiguous and not focus on a specific topic. I marked the revision I should make to let the sentence more focused. For example, it could be worded differently and a bit simpler.
Revision
This paragraph is an introduction to the concept of "toxic masculinity." I believe is unnecessary to be explained in a single paragraph. So I merge the paragraph to the next one which talking about the "toxic masculinity" element in the movie Iron man 1.
This paragraph doesn't have a thesis. When I realize all I did in this paragraph is giving evidence and didn't set the main argument, I add one into the middle of the paragraph. This makes my paragraph more focused and easier to read.
